A Curious Army Wife

I joined this crazy tribe when I married into the Indian Army

About A Curious Army Wife

Who knew I would get such a cultural shock on entering the Army as a new bride and remember wondering out aloud in front of my husband (Major Sa’ab), “What the hell did I sign up for?” He reminded me that he did warn me about almost everything during many of those long phone conversations we had before marriage. And I silently cursed myself for not paying enough attention then. 😛

So there you go, this is the story behind a blog which describes the pride, anxiety, happiness, horror and annoying moments of an Indian Army officer’s wife. Life here takes a new turn as a lady enters the fauj as someone’s better half and this is a platform to share this bittersweet experience.

Feel free to share your own thoughts and stories, leave a comment if you like a particular post (leave one even if you don’t like it), and basically just sit back and enjoy! Oh and if there is something you wanna write about but are too lazy to start your own blog, then be my guest (er,.. guest blogger).

There’s also a new feature on the blog — the FAQ section. I keep getting mails from a lot of ladies (fauji wives and soon-to-be fauji wives) in which they ask me questions about Army life. Since I am no expert, I will post the questions and invite other Army Wives to answer it. Think of it as a slightly slow helpline. 😛

The first one is already up on the blog.

Write it up, mail it to me at a.nandedkar@gmail.com with “A Curious Army Wife” in the subject line, and I would be happy to post it here with your name (or anonymous, if you prefer it that way).

The cover photo of this blog features two of our friends with whom we had great fun one fine evening trying out various poses for this amateur photoshoot. 🙂

61 thoughts on “About A Curious Army Wife

  1. existenceexperiencesimiliesimplicity on said:

    Jai Hind…. 😀 ..

  2. Coming from the U.S. Army Wife side of things, I’m interested in seeing first hand how our lives parallel.

  3. Thank you Sheri! So nice to meet you here! And I am too “curious” about my American counterparts’ life 🙂

  4. Vipula on said:

    Hi

    Discovered your blog by chance and found it very interesting and read all your posts back to back.
    A very honest blog with wonderful anecdotes and stories.

    I am dating an Army officer and could relate on so many points and left wondering about so many things as well.

    I would love to talk to you about few things that I m still trying to figure out about army life ..

    • We are in the same boat Vipula, I feel like I am also still trying to figure out Army life. That is why I am curious! 😉

      • Vipula on said:

        True……
        For a complete civilian like us…its too overwhelming at times.

        The most recent topic I argue about with my Fauji is how am I supposed to manage my career once I am married to U and he is clueless.

        What would U say…how do U manage your career with continuous transfers in all kinds of cities..big and small?
        I keep wondering…is there any career which gels with mobile army life?

  5. Aah yes, I want to write something about our careers. I feel really sad about how we give up extremely lucrative careers to be with our men. So far I have seen that wives get their B.Ed degrees and start teaching in schools, which are there in every town/city/village. That is one option you can explore.
    I am a journalist and writer by profession, and my husband’s current posting allows little scope for me career-wise. So I have taken up freelancing. I also joined Tupperware, which I feel is great to connect with local women, as it is very important to have your own social circle outside of Army.

    • Vipula on said:

      Yes…you please write a post about Career options for Army wives.I am sure many would want to read about how you come to that decision of giving it all up for getting married then exploring new options.

      My fauji also tells me the same…you can teach which I feel I am not too fond of 😉

      Your idea about Tupperware seems really nice.

      For him..its very common to see ladies quitting their jobs and being part of me army life but for a civilian like me..it seems a little difficult to let to when all my other colleagues are planning their career in future and explore something completely new like teaching …but then I guess that’s the part of army life.

      I would request you to write a post of career and options that we all have and how you explain you mind and heart to go with the flow 🙂

      P.S.
      Thank U for bearing with my with continuous questions but it feels good to hear from someone on the other side of the road.
      I really connected with the way you have put across your perspective 🙂

  6. Well…well…am late in reaching this blog….but better late than never!! And am glad, that I chanced upon this space 🙂 Beautiful posts and insightful reads!! Being an army wife like you, I am able to relate to quite a lot that has been written here…..especially conducting ladies meets and all!! Beautiful blog this is and am going to keep a tab on this space for more 🙂

    I too blog at : http://narayanikarthik.blogspot.in/

    So, whenever you get time, you may drop by 🙂

    • Thank you Narayani. Better late than never (I wish I could say that to my husband while getting ready for a fauji party 😉 ). A nice blog you have here. Wish I could be as frequent with my posts.

  7. Hi Anamika aka A Curious Army Wife:
    I must compliment you on your interesting and topical blog.
    This is truly a superb blog – a “must read” for all “faujis” and their wives, especially aspiring “fauji” wives.
    By the way, I too dabble once in a while on this topic of “fauji memsahibs”.
    Here is a post from my blog:
    ARMY WIFE – THEN AND NOW : A TALE OF FOUR FAUJI MEMSAHIBS
    http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/08/army-wife-then-and-now-tale-of-four.html
    Do tell me of you liked it.
    Keep Writing and Blogging – you have a very refreshing zesty style which is so enjoyable to read.
    Regards
    Vikram
    Vikram Karve
    Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve

    PS: BTW, though not an “OG” Fauji – I am a Navy Veteran

    • Thank you Karve ji, I read your fauj-related posts and they reflect your experience in the Navy quite beautifully. I would love to get your opinion on some topics…would get in touch soon. 🙂

      • Hullo Anamika I have been enjoying reading your blogs. Karveji as you so nicely address my old friend is a terrific writer and is as active if not more than me on a lot of social sites. Twitter to get my thoughts under 14o and of course FB and the innumerable other platforms. Tell me, you advise young ladies about the Forces and the possible handicaps the military wife faces. Its usually the Army lass who gets stuck. The IAF and Navy girls are posted to better stations. Sorry their husbands are. Most Cantonments are near big cities and I can vouch that quite a few young Army wives do work in these cities. I see some dashing off to town in the mrnings. Some are in Banks, some work in boutiques, some in the larger hotels etc. Some work in colleges. And so on. Wonder if you are an Army Brat. If so join up in this group.

      • And if you feel like it chk me out under my many avatars. sukhwant49 on FB, simba49 on Twitter, magnus49 on Blogger.

  8. Hi Anamika!
    It is lovely to have stumbled across your blog. I have transitioned from an army brat to an army wife and i can totally relate to your posts – especially the one on “ladies meet” as we have ours coming up next week 😛

    In between monthly welfares and coffee mornings, i am also an entrepreneur, so it’s always encouraging to come across a fauji wife doing something else aside from “teaching”.
    Keep up the great work and let’s connect!

  9. vimala manoharan on said:

    Its great to read this blog…Iam an army officer’s wife currently working in civil and staying in civil for past 8 years bcos of my job and kids education. I really miss that fauji life where I was pampered and looked after ..ofcourse there are plenty of bad incidents too…but just live in civil for a while..
    really missing the fresh air and clealiness of cantonment ..missing the ladies meet…missing the friendly neighbours…missing fauji parties and gettogethers….missing the busy life of packing and unpacking…

  10. Hi Vimala,
    Well, I can only say that a fauji wife must try and stay with her husband for as much time as possible. One must balance career and personal life. Also the fauji husband can try for a suitable posting where the wife can work and pursue her own career. In the Navy, this is easier because of better stations and longer tenures.
    All the Best
    Regards
    Vikram Karve
    Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve

  11. Dear “Fauji” wives,
    I do not want to sound an MCP but when I was newly married a senior army officer told me: “There are only two suitable options for an army wife – Homemaker or Teacher”.
    Well, that was 33 years ago and times have changed.
    I remember how bad I felt when my newly wedded wife sacrificed her career dreams so that we could live together (But I am made up later – when I let her get ahead and put my career on slow track).
    It is all give and take.
    Regards
    Vikram Karve
    Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve

    • Thankfully, an internet connection at home makes it easier to pursue certain careers these days, which gives more options to wives of defence personnel. Your wife is indeed lucky if she has gotten a chance to move up the career ladder. 🙂

  12. Sandhya Rewaria on said:

    Hi,

    I love what you write, cant stop reading all the experiences you shares. I got engaged with army officer (now GC) . And its long time for marraige . So prepairing my self to be one of them. You write so real and desi ..I love it alot !!!! Thanks :*

    • Thank you Sandhya. And since you are engaged to a GC, you mustn’t miss the IMA Ball, which is a crackling event held twice a year in May and November. Scan through the blog to find two posts that I have written about IMA — “From ball partner to life partner”, and “IMA– where gentlemen become officers”. Enjoy!

      • Sandhya on said:

        How can i miss that 😉 U r right he is toothpick . Hope so he will gain weight after training..

  13. Rimoroses on said:

    Hello Author,

    You write so well!!!!I can relate to the few post and soon may all of them as currently into the phase ” from ball partner to life partner”.I recently came across your blog ,little late but I am happy to discover this .Coincidentally I also saw your blog cover pic on instagram by your photographer .Its really beautifully clicked! (also intelligently as per the protocol of no rank /uniform show on social media) .Me too have my instagram account related to fauji post.While reading your blog ,I just realized that how much my fauji has changed my life unknowingly as ,as my Captain wished I should continue my career ,me being stubborn 3 years back that I wont quit (likely u said becoming a teacher with B.Tech degree was another no no to the profession),but now have had completed 5 years as software engg(also ending up dark circles) and staying away from my Kaptaan Sahab , I want to quit my career really happily 😀 .Lucky /Unluckily his peace posting have been confirmed in silicom city for next 4 years ,I guess I will likely complete 10 years with this profession as software engg .I think this is also one of the best career option to the girls searching (considering freelancing in this career too acceptable).I am all in the fauji girlfriend network and believe me 5 out of 10 all work with MNC now a days .We have good city options too like bhopal,jabalpur (in case ppl getting posted in mhow),patna,lucknow (UPites can consider this),Gandhinagar,Baroda,Jaipur (people posted in bikaner can reach here ),nagpur,guwahati, bubhneshwar(goplapur spouses can work here) ,chandigargh,Agra(good for iaf spouses) & there are few more 2 tier cities which are having good options to work in IT industry.Also that fauji guys now a days are flexible with the thought of working spouses ,it has become easier to adjust and continue career till the point you have kids.Apart from this many of my female friends who in army too have this difficult relationship to maintain at least till 10 years of their service as a fauji and then as a fauji wife .

    • Hey Rimoroses! You wrote a blog piece in itself here 🙂 Happy to know that you liked this blog and even if you have just one leg on the boat, I am sure you will be able to relate with many things that I mention here. Enjoy the precious time with your fauji!
      Good to know that you value your career too, which is very important for every woman, however rich their husbands might be. And you are a software engineer, wow… who knows, after 10 years in this profession, you might be earning more than your Kaptaan Sahab! Now, isn’t that a heady feeling 😉
      Keep reading and commenting!

  14. Anamika!
    Your blog satiates my enduring insight of being a to-be army wife!
    In a relationship with a soon-to-be Major (MHOW), I come from a complete civilian background, like you an d many others here. I would love to personally connect with you, have a one-on-one interaction. My email is seema.nande@gmail.com. Please ping me with your convenience.
    Regards,
    Seema.

  15. Shubhanjli on said:

    Hi there ! It’s awesome to connect with someone and know how our lives run in parallel ! My better half is Capt. back there in India and I’m still struggling to be a freelance web developer (here in States).Well i don’t have time to write ..(It’s kinda busy here) but, could be a blogger someday!(Well who knows, once i return to India..blogging & coding might go hand-in-hand..). Anyways great blog – keep writing more n more ..!

  16. prasanth N on said:

    Indian army officer’s wife and soldier’s wife is as brave as well. May josh are heroes of our nation, their gamily is backbone of every walk of soldier’s life…

    Very exciting Blog….
    Jai Hind…

  17. Vaybhavi on said:

    Hi anamika ur blog is very informative and useful. Would u pls guide me on how to go about for ladies meet preparations. This month our unit has to host a ladies meet and my Senior ladies are saying get some ideas regarding the meet. Theme is mother and child and I have to make a presentation on child abuse . pls guide me iam new to this unit life and fauj.

    • Hey Vaybhavi, if you are not a mother (like me) then I can understand the difficulty in coming up with ideas. I am sure most of your Unit senior officers’ wives must already have some ideas in their mind. Why don’t you check out this site worldofmoms.com, maybe you’ll find something there. And your presentation topic is very powerful and relevant. Try to make the presentation as much factual as possible. Include procedures, moms’ emotional support, laws regarding this, ngos that support mothers in such cases in your City/Station, medical help (if the child needs it) and, how to educate children about identifying and speaking out against such abuses…. these are some slides you can include (off the top of my head). Do include real life cases, if you know of any. Hope this helps… :). Good luck.

      • I like the Referance you have recommended. Young wives and not yet mothers are the most handicapped. Love observing both categories when I do my rare forays to the Club. More interesting to see mommies on cycles. Kid on a nice carrier and mother with groceries in the cycle front basket. Got, back I shape after the kid and a cheerful look. Husbands busy on Courses and wives Independant. Devlali by the way.

        Sent from my iPhone

        >

      • Great idea! 🙂

      • vaybhavi vengatesan on said:

        Thank u ananmika

  18. Dear Anamika,

    I am so happy to see your blog grow from strength to strength and proving a very useful source of information to young girls in relationships with army officers and, of course, army wives and would-be army wives.

    I observe Vaybhavi and a few other young ladies use terms like “Senior Ladies” and “Senior Wives” etc.

    Well, let me quote an extract from a NWWA (Navy Wives Welfare Association) booklet which encapsulates some prudent advice for Navy Wives:

    “You don’t wear his (husband’s) stripes … there is no such thing as a ‘Senior Wife’ or ‘Senior Lady’. There are Senior Officers. They have wives. There are Junior Officers and some of them have wives. All wives are ladies … You will not fawn over others and not expect others to fawn over you. You will be yourself. And your own manners, breeding and natural charm will shine through leaving you with no need for any borrowed stripes or other borrowed plumage”

    Maybe the Navy is more progressive than the Army owing to the large number of navy wives who are professional career women. But – I feel – in today’s modern times – while giving due respect to age – there is no need for rank-consciousness among wives – and all ladies have equal status irrespective of their husband’s ranks.

    By the way – the NWWA booklet mentioned above was issued around 20 years ago – and things may have become even more democratized now.

    I am sure “Ladies Meets” discuss literary pursuits like Blogging, Creative Writing etc and also financial investment aspects like online trading in stock market etc to give an impetus to ladies to pursue such online activities to their benefit.

    By the way – does AWWA use Social Media (Twitter, Facebook, WhatsApp etc) for effective networking and interaction among its members?

    Please take my comment in the right spirit.

    All the Best.
    Keep Writing such wonderful blog posts – you are doing yeoman’s service to young ladies who seek information about the life of a fauji wife.
    Regards.
    Vikram Karve
    Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve

    • Thank you so much Karve Ji. I also don’t like the “senior lady” reference and consciously avoid it. Of course, Senior Officer’s wife takes me an extra second to type or say, but at least it conveys the correct picture,
      I also keep hearing from my friends that Navy and Air Force are quite chilled out in this matter. Would love to see the Army too adapt to these changing times. There was this one lady who was elder to me and had a kid, so naturally I used to think of her as someone senior to me in terms of life experiences. But turned out she was my husband’s junior’s wife, so I would always wince at the way she would stand up if I were to enter the room. She would insist that I was senior…. I am still trying to convince her that it is otherwise. Sigh 🙂
      Thank you for your kind words, keeps me going on rainy days like today. 🙂

  19. Great to go through the blog. Was planning Ladies club meet for the month of August.. in Devlali ..and searching for a good theme….and found this blog. Good work. keep it up!!

  20. Sukhwant Singh on said:

    Karve nice to read that Navy directive about status of wives. When in Leh we were a mixed bag, army chopper pilots based at an Air Force station. Weather notwithstanding my son studied there and Kay my wife worked at the local All India Station. I of course flew. At the AF Station it was all equality; no Sr ladies or junior ladies. Hope our ladies note that it’s good times regardless of the kind of Station the hubby is located at.

  21. Pavitra on said:

    Hello Anamika! I am a civilian, engaged to a fauji and a cat-person! I follow your blog with a lot of excitement. Many thanks for giving such beautiful insights about the fauji life. Keep up the great work! Love it!

    • Hey Pavitra! Congratulations on your engagement. And thank you for the kind words that bought a smile to my face as I had been out of network area for more than a week — a peril of cantonments you will soon face yourself. 🙂

  22. Hi Anamika ma’am 🙂 I am from Fuji background ( father and uncles ,currently Brothers ) attachment toward Army can never be less in me..Being recommended for INDIAN Army 3 time always make feel proud and feel part of it..I would like to thank you for creating such an beautiful, real and informative blog for all Fuji ,their Beautiful wives/going to be ..your blog and each word of it is so true,real and refreshing…you pen up each word so perfectly i really love it..i just love n enjoy reading what you write, can’t stop reading experiences you shares each time …I am following your blog past 2 years and each time when i open your blog a big smile smile comes to my face with a lot of excitement and curiosity to know ” now what is next story ma’am has come up with :):):)… Keep up the great work Ma’am!!!!!keep writing please..!! Love it!!!

  23. Pranita on said:

    Hi,
    I read you blog quite often and I loved it. Since am dating an Army officer for past two and half years, I can relate so many things and get to learn so many things. Am one impatient girl but dating my major sahab I hav learnt to be patience.
    And thank you so much, I get to learn so many things from your blog.

  24. Bumped on your blog by chance. I love your sense of humour.

  25. Sumegha on said:

    Hello! I came across your blog through your Instagram page. Absolutely in love with your writing and sense of humor. I am no Army wife or girlfriend (does Navy girlfriend count? ‘Coz i can claim to be that!), but your posts keep me hooked on to the “defence life”. Love how you manage to describe awkward moments with a flair for humor. Super refreshing and positive. 🙂
    Keep writing!

    • Thank you Sumegha! Yes, yes, Navy Girlfriend counts just as much 🙂

    • Hi ma’am good evening. The comments were nice to read. Im still stuck on what to write about. But shall soon as I get the bright idea. Sukhwant

      On Sun, Jul 24, 2016 at 12:20 PM, A Curious Army Wife wrote:

      > Sumegha commented: “Hello! I came across your blog through your Instagram > page. Absolutely in love with your writing and sense of humor. I am no Army > wife or girlfriend (does Navy girlfriend count? ‘Coz i can claim to be > that!), but your posts keep me hooked on to the “defen” >

  26. Anamika ma’am, I would like to appreciate the effort you’ve taken here. I would like to contribute it in some way. You can see my writings on http://www.adityaykulkarni.wordpress.com
    JAI HIND!♠

  27. Hello ! Thank you for writing so much about your life as an Army Wife. Everyone needs such kind of awareness, about the fun and also about the ugly side. You have partly satiated a curious-soon-to-be-engaged to an army man ! I wish though someone would write a post on alternate career options to explore other than B.ed in a brief blog. Thank you for all the posts, you do have inspired me to document my own stories someday 🙂

  28. I visited ur blog long time ago reading through the posts and my adrenaline was at peaks! Sounding like a desperate I might as well confessed I wish I could marry an army man!! Hehe.

    Anyway, you are amazing, lady! Your words, that sarcasm, that witty remarks! Gosh how I wish I would be that forthcoming too. And not to forget that in all hurdles of your life you have never changed what u truly are and by ur posts I can make out what a support u r to your husband.

    Oh, did I also tell u that I absolutely love your header image? When I get married (if that ever happens considering at 24 but my actions say I’m a decade younger 😂) I am gonna click one of those pics with my hubby 😇

    So in short, I am your FAN madam!

    And I also wonder where have u disappeared to? Haven’t seen any posts since 2016.

    Hope all is well.

    Regards,
    Narmada (aka Nams!)

    • Hi Nams! Thank you so much. It seems I missed your comment and saw it now. Whoever guy you marry… whether he is an army man or not… i hope you guys have all he fun in life!
      Will be back with a blogpost soon. It’s been too long na? Ab toh likhna hi padega. Hehhe
      Cheers!

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