A Curious Army Wife

I joined this crazy tribe when I married into the Indian Army

Kissa Adjutant ki kursi ka!

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The impact of my Major Sa’ab’s announcement that he would soon be on the adjutant’s chair can be accurately compared to that of an iceberg hitting the Titanic. This blog post by A Curious Army Wife is dedicated to the wives of those adjutants, who live a life worthy of a field allowance even during peace postings!

If you are an adjutant’s wife, then here are 10 things that you will definitely relate with:

1. Till now, you must have thought that your husband loves the country more than you. And you were fine by that, weren’t you. Trouble starts when patidev becomes the adjutant and you are pushed to third spot in the love thy list β€”

  • Our country
  • Whoever is on the other side of the phone.
  • You. (Oh this is so not good).

2. You initially revel in the power your husband has in the unit as an adjutant, till reality strikes hard and you realise, it’s not really power but a big headache. Phone pe phone pe phone…

3. You chuckle when you hear the Jawans address you as “Adjutant Memsahib“.

4. It’s a fun guessing game to indulge in β€” guess who’s on phone? If you husband answers with “Jai Hind” and then sits up in attention, then it’s probably the CO or a very senior officer. If his posture doesn’t change, it’s his SM. If he scrambles to open his diary to check something, it’s another officer. If he suddenly starts massaging his temples, it’s from MT. If he looks up towards the almighty for some inspiration and patience, it’s from a JCO.

5. You feel weirdly wicked to be in possession of all the information about what the ladies in the unit are demandedΒ  from the adjutant. Aah! So Mrs XYZ asked for the gypsy to go shopping? And Mrs ABC asked her husband’s sahayak to be changed! Poor husband tells these things to you innocently, but you just feel supremely happy at getting the inside dope.

6. “Dinner Conversation” is a distant dream. For a conversation to take place, you first need to have dinner with the person. On the rare chance the adjutant makes it home for dinner, there is very little hope for a proper ‘conversation’ because the damn phone keeps ringing all the time.

Army officer

7. You reach that stage where ‘OK Report’ becomes an integral part of your life. Are you going out shopping? Give an OK Report to your husband when you reach. Boarding a train? Give an OK Report when your ticket gets checked. Applying make-up? Give an OK Report when you manage to get the shape of the eyeliner correct. Marroing tadka to daal? Give an OK Report with exact time it took for the daal to cook and gap between boiling and tadka.

8. It’s ok to call him for those OK Reports, but god forbid you call him to ask what time he is coming home, all hell will break lose. “Yaar, you know na I am very busy. I will come when work gets over, don’t call me over such things,” he would say.

9. When he says “Today, there isn’t that much pressure of work. I will finish by maximum 1800hrs. We’ll go for a walk then,” you safely assume you won’t see his face before 2200 hrs.

10. The frequency with which he picks up others’ calls will makes you jealous. “Han han, mera phone kabhi attend bhi mat kariyo,” becomes the patented snide remark of every Army wife.

But when Adjutant Sa’ab has had enough and says in utter frustration, “I think I need to stop taking calls, and start giving some balls,” there is no thikana of your khushi!

All’s well that ends well, or in this case, ends soon.

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21 thoughts on “Kissa Adjutant ki kursi ka!

  1. If your adjutant Saab is posted in field, you call him for something (or let’s say he called you 😜) n another phone rings n he says “yaar, do min hold karna” n soon you realize that during his this tenure you are gonna pay your mobile bills for being “on hold” !!!

  2. Haha! I can relate to it:-) Have been an adjutant’s wife in the past. When the phone starts to ring at home line I would know that he has left ofc and is on his way hone.

    • Haha… Imagine I stayed with him for a few days in field, where office and room lines were on parallel connection. Both would ring at the same time. I was tempted to pick up the phone and say “wrong number, don’t call back ever”.

  3. Totally agree with all the points..!!! My elder daughter was few months old when my husband was doing adjutant… I shifted his bedroom to another bedroom…n told him call me if he need me !!!
    πŸ˜‰πŸ˜ˆπŸ˜

  4. kiraan thakur on said:

    “Yaar itna stress hai” MC BC being used as endearments and “civilians will never understand” are few of the common dialogues one gets to hear πŸ™‚

  5. Whatever its part of duty

  6. ikyamakeupmonologues on said:

    God I do relate! All through our dating period, courtship and the 1st year of marriage, he was the adjutant!
    I remember communicating with bhaiya more. Bhaiya telling me things in past tense like “saab ki gadi toot gayi thi.. theek kar ke le aaya”
    “Saab ne bola tha suitcase pack karna, ab cancel ho gaya toh unpack kar raha hoon” ( this after being caught unpacking, btw) so not communicative that guy! Ugh! Needless to say I never knew any gossip! Boo
    The only good part though was him coming back home every night! Everyone else as he says are “ufos” and the adj is the only one with a chance at staying put! Lol
    The first yr was great hence! Last yr though we barely stayed together! Thanks to him being a ufo! :/

  7. Sneha on said:

    β€œI think I need to stop taking calls, and start giving some balls,” <– is that actually done by saying out loud "Balls BC!" πŸ˜€
    What amused me was that LCs of the academy he was in used to use the same phrase πŸ˜€ Women are never lagging behind you see.

  8. hahaha,,i can relate it to very well as he is adjutant..:P….
    so aptly brought out…

  9. sunbyanyname on said:

    What a delightful blog and post. Anamika? Well, well, the armed forces officers do remember their wives’ names and in your case, there is hardly any problem!

    Just approved your post for publication in HIAOOU. Keep writing; you have innate humour in you.

    • Thank you so much! πŸ™‚
      But your reference to my name went over my head! Didn’t get it.

      • sunbyanyname on said:

        A friend was a guest at an old couple’s house. He noticed that the old man lovingly called his wife, “Sweety”, ” Honey”, “Darling” all the while. He couldn’t help mentioning to the old man when he was leaving, “Sir, you and your love are really great. After all these years you still call her so affectionately”.

        The old man chuckled, winked and said, ” It isn’t what you think it is. You see, I forgot her name a few years back”.

        In your case, Anamika, since your name itself is ‘no-name’, you have (or more specifically he has) nothing to fear. No-name is easier to remember than any name!

      • Hahaha… I was expecting something on the same lines!
        This is in addition to the remarks I used to get that my parents couldn’t figure out a name and went with no-name! πŸ˜€ To my friends, I often say that I am that finger next to the one that gets you introuble. πŸ˜›

  10. Akansha on said:

    This post depresses meπŸ˜‘

  11. Hello mam,

    I could relate to each of these..M not a fauji wife yet but my beua is an adjutant since last 2 years.I have seen feild and peace both.. And I could relate each of what you have written apptly .Especially ‘balls ‘ ! But good part of all this is we are not yet married and bad part is he is in the office all the days even when Senior and junior are chilling.. And I sometimes envy his junior’s life as they get a courtesy to go out but my poor guy is in office till 20:00 hrs or more .

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