Tapori Ladies’ Meet
As soon as the name of the unit/battalion which will host the next Ladies’ Meet is announced, it is like the begul has been sounded for the next big battle. “What should we have as our theme?” is the big question which Arnab Goswami has sadly ignored.
One fine day, when I had nothing better to do, this thought entered my mind — what is one theme which a Ladies’ Meet would never ever have, no matter what. The only one that came to my mind was the “Tapori” theme. Tapori is the typical Mumbaiya local language, which is generally used in Bollywood movies by guys who have nothing better to do than do nothing :P. Or the maids there who have a female version of this colloquial Hindi-Marathi mish-mash.
Just imagine the anchor of the Ladies’ Meet saying, “Aye bhidu, tu apun ke Ladies’ Meet me ayela ae lekin apun ka bheja nai khaneka. Chup chaap baithneka and show dekhneka.” (That is when ladies choke on the ‘welcome drink’)
Or continue in the same nonchalant tone and say, “Madam log, ab apni chik-chik pe full stop laganeka, and Shruti maidem ka ekdum jhakaas gana suno. Unki awaz apun ko ekdum hila ke rakh diya… muaah.,.. itna rapchik gana ae.” (That is when the floor gets covered with eyeballs that recently belonged to wives of senior officers seated on sofas in the front row.)
“Chalo abhi hawa aan do. Khana khaneka, tarif karneka, and ghar jaaneka. Itna paisa mein itnaich milenga. Thank you- good evening ghar jaake karne ka”
Next day — Husbands of all those ladies who were hosting will run BPET.